Help

I have a really hard time asking for help. I was raised to be strong and independent, confident and sure of myself, and while those were great lessons, as an adult I find it difficult to say I can't handle something on my own, that I need more than I can give myself.

I believe in turning everything over to God, in asking him to take my fear and make me strong, I believe in the power of prayer and in doing good deeds so that those deeds may come back to me, but I have a helluva hard time asking people to help me. I have this idea that needing help is somehow weak, that if I were stronger/better I could handle everything on my own.

But, I can't. I have to sell my house and my student loan debt is out of control and my personal life is locked in a necessary but painful stasis and I feel like I have about as much control over my life as I do the weather which I guess is true but also scares the living hell out of me.

So, this is my plea to the universe: send me strength. Send me the power to ask for help. Send me the wisdom to know it when it arrives. Send me the ability to receive it with grace. Send me help. I need it.