--Michaelangelo
This morning the winds shake the trees in my neighbors' yards, branches ruffle and shake like an animal wagging itself awake. I half expect some ancient green bear to rise and start stalking its way back to the home it's been missing all these months during hibernation.
These trees and their suggestion of dormancy lead me to question ways we isolate ourselves. The walls we build. Not just the marble walls of Michaelangelo's statuary, but the intangible walls we erect to protect ourselves from one another. Are we not, as he wrote, ourselves perfect in attitude and action? Certainly there are those who misstep, but if we 'hew away the rough walls,' aren't we likely to see the lovely apparition--the angel in the marble--within each other and ourselves?
I have two friends, men I love, each one a master at building walls. One blocks himself in against the cold of rejection, the fear of being less than for people he loves. The angel in him is evident to all, his heart pure, spirit giving, soul true. We have walked and talked the world to weariness over the past ten years. I see the trees shaking and know he, too, is waking up, processing the what ifs around him and trying to stay standing. Today I wish him verticality, the trick of uprightness, one foot in front of the other until you don't have to think about it anymore and what has been a constant concern simply becomes what is.
My second friend finds himself in a labyrinth of his own creation, one with simple, beautiful gifts around some corners and heartbreaking sadness at the dead ends of others. Would that I were Ariadne, I could smuggle him the clew, let him unwind himself from the maze until he reached all the way back to the beginning and could map it anew, find perspective, start again. He doesn't believe the angel exists in him, but I promise it does. I have seen it often and it is stunning. A blindingly beautiful white light that shines on all who are lucky enough to be near him. Today I wish him sure-footedness, deep breaths in the darkness, familiar patterns and grooves in the walls beneath his searching hands so that he can slowly start to feel his way home.
***
It is mother's day and the woman I am lucky enough to have been born to gave me a great gift years ago: she allowed me to be completely comfortable with who I am, to believe that what I want is right, to know that my dreams and hopes are as valid and necessary as anyone elses. My mother showed me that my own happiness ensures the happiness of the people around me because, if they truly love me, they want nothing more than for me to be happy. I am blessed that she is my mother and today, in celebration of her, I am trying to pass on her greatest gift which is the knowledge that we all matter. We all deserve to be happy, and we are all here to help each other become, as Michaelangelo said, revealed.
Interestingly enough, my favorite Michaelangelo pieces are the unfinished ones - the ones still trying to break through their walls, if you will. Even with the David looming ahead of me in all his perfection, I took exceptional pause near the prisoners and was captivated by their struggle.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, your mom is a pretty wise lady, too, and I'm all for abandoning the struggle in favor of happiness. I hope those friends of yours find some soon.
It's hard to see the angel in the marble when all you are doing is banging your head on the stone.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I too am captivated by the struggle of those breaking through, I'm just hoping all of us can reach the reveal soon because the stasis is staggering. My friends, and I, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWCP, of course you are right. The questions, I guess, become ones of perspective: who is looking vs. who is carving and then who really needs to be set free, the artist or the angel?