I Have Never Been Cool

I have never been cool—at least, not outwardly so. From the outside, I’ve been performative, loud, opinionated, but never cool. I always had something to say and, as a kid, I had no tact so being the girl with the world in her mouth tended to make me, if not exactly an outcast, definitely not someone who flew in the cool blue circles of awesomeness.


On the inside, however, I have always felt like there was a cool little secret no one knew about: I have excellent taste in music. I know, I know, some people say this about themselves and it is totally false. They tout the transformative powers of Milli Vanilli and the subtle strains of Celine Dion all while celebrating Michael Bolton’s entire catalog. I’m not going to say I haven’t rocked out to “Girl You Know It’s True” or sung along—way too loudly—to “I’m Your Lady” when they’ve come on the radio, and like every red-blooded American girl my age, I did in fact at one time own a Michael Bolton tape, but none of those artists speaks to my taste level.


Like the designers on Project Runway, I have been influenced by many things, but my taste is most defined by what I loved as a kid—a young kid. In my house, there was always music. Dad plays the keyboard (not exactly right to say piano when the instrument in question is a behemoth Hammond B3), and my brother is a drummer so there was always music. I sang for years, and we were as likely to be listening to one of Dad’s many bands rehearsing (country acts Caught in the Act and Richwood, blues Rebel Miles, classic rock Lix—yeah, Lix) as we were to Mom’s records. I remember The Allman Brothers, The Beatles, and Van Morrison from a young age. I learned really early on that you can’t just have a good beat, you have to have something to say, and sometimes the best thing you can say is “Let It Be.”


Anyway, I set the Ipod to Shufflin’ last night and discovered that, if someone were to pick it up and scroll through the last hundred songs, I would finally look—outwardly—cool. Well, I think so anyway…aren’t we always at the mercy of our own definitions of things like that? (That’s probably another blog post) I can’t believe how many little mini-narratives there are running through this—my life is nothing if not metaphorical, even when it comes to my music.And yeah, I get that there’s a lot of Ani & Ryan Adams—I make no apologies for that.


For now, here’s the hundred (with a few links in case you're interested).



1. Love Is All I Am, Dawes
2. Dear Sara, Anders Parker
3. If I Needed You, Lyle Lovett (Townes VZ cover)
4. Coming Up, Ani DiFranco
5. Fade Into You, Mazzy Star
6. Pulse, Ani
7. Waiting for Superman, Iron & Wine
8. Closer, Joshua Radin
9. Flowers in December, Mazzy Star
10. Gordon’s Message, Gordon Gano (Violent Femmes)
11. Self-Evident, Ani
12. Honey, Stay Awhile, The Rosewood Thieves
13. Lisztomania, Phoenix
14. Amy, Ryan Adams
15. Because the Night, Patti Smith
16. Gossip In the Grain, Ray La Montagne
17. Banjolin Song (live on Balcony TV), Mumford & Sons
18. If You Let Me eb Your anchor, Dawes on Daytrotter
19. Right Place, The Mynabirds
20. Medicine Ball, Rogue Wave
21. Faithless Street, Whiskeytown
22. Never Forget You, Noisettes
23. Nobody Girl, Ryan Adams
24. Avenues, Whiskeytown
25. Bodyguard, Dawn Landes
26. Oh Quiet Night, Will Stratton
27. Diner, Ani
28. Ten Thousand Words, The Avett Brothers
29. Speed of Sound, Chris Bell
30. No One Can Hold a Candle to You, Morrissey
31. Incomplete & Insecure, The Avett Brothers
32. The Devil Had a Hold of Me, Gillian Welch
33. Worthy, Ani
34. Find the River, Pickin’ Series-Pickin’ on REM
35. War on Machines, Blitzen Trapper
36. Face Up & Sing, Ani
37. Gratitude, Ani
38. Friendly Beasts, Sufjan Stevens
39. Comes a Time, Neil Young
40. Starting Now, Ingrid Michaelson
41. Rome, Phoenix
42. I Would Be Sad, The Avett Brothers
43. Banjolin Song, Mumford & Sons
44. Ground Beneath My Feet, Sherwood
45. Stormy Weather, Echo & the Bunnymen
46. I Don’t Know Why, Colin Hay
47. Jacksonville, Sufjan Stevens
48. Suffragette City, David Bowie
49. Hazards of Love Pt. 1, The Decemberists
50. Restless, Langhorne Slim
51. Moon Song, Patty Griffin
52. Tired of This Life, Dawn Landes
53. What Light, Wilco
54. Letter to Elise, The Cure
55. 10:1, Rogue Wave
56. Ruination Day Pt. 2, Gillian Welch
57. I Made a Resolution, Sea Wolf on Daytrotter
58. Just Like Honey, Jesus and the Mary Chain
59. By the Time the Sun Goes Down, Langhorne Slim
60. The Last One, Cary Brothers
61. Little Lovin’, Lissie
62. Never Enough, The Cure
63. Spirit, The Caesars
64. When the President Talks to God, Bright Eyes
65. My Heart is Broken, Ryan Adams & the Cardinals
66. Not Where You’re At (But Where You Will Be), The Rave-Ups
67. Little Lion Man, Mumford & Sons
68. Dance Me Around the Room, The Steel Wheels
69. Living in the Promiseland, Willie Nelson
70. Orion Town 2, Frontier Ruckus
71. Love Is All I Am, Dawes
72. Fields of Gold, Eva Cassidy
73. Napoleon (2007), Ani
74. Train Ride, Lyle Lovett
75. Father & Son, Cat Stevens
76. Filipino Box Spring Hog, Tom Waits
77. We’ll Sweep Out the Ashes In the Morning, Emmylou Harris & Gram Parsons
78. Hard Headed Woman, Wanda Jackson
79. 40 Day Dream, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes
80. Time Will Do the Talking, Patty Griffin
81. House Where Nobody Lives, Tom Waits
82. One Flight Down, Norah Jones
83. Vodka, Victoria Hart
84. Garden of Simple, Ani
85. Next Big Thing, Ani
86. Mutiny, I Promise You, The New Pornographers
87. Old, Old Song, Ani
88. The Wind, Cat Stevens
89. In My Own Eyes, Brandi Carlile
90. Knuckle Down, Ani
91. If I Were the Man You Wanted, Lyle Lovett
92. The High Road, Broken Bells
93. Blue Light, Mazzy Star
94. Big Time In the Jungle, Old Crow Medicine Show
95. I’m Coming Over, Ryan Adams
96. Don’t Be Sad, Whiskeytown
97. Baby Boomer, Monsters of Folk
98. Strawberry Wine, Ryan Adams
99. Bird On a Wire, Leonard Cohen
100. Sister, I’m a Poet, Morrissey